Ocean Levels Suddenly Receding; Global Warming Trends Reverse Overnight

The NOAA is pleased to announce that Global Warming is no more! As dawn broke on Wednesday, June 4, 2008 it was clear that something had changed. No doubt the events of the previous evening had something to do with the sudden turnaround in global temperatures and the assurance that we can now all sleep in peace instead of 5 feet of water.

Satellite photos taken at various intervals overnight saw a dramatic decrease in global temperatures originating from St. Paul, Minnesota and slowly creeping out to the rest of the earth, indeed, the entire universe. NOAA experts have a good idea what caused the incredible change in our eco-doom scenarios, but our non-partisan efforts require us to walk carefully upon this disclosure. We can only claim this scientific fact: OBAMA ROCKS!

As President-elect Obama declared on Tuesday evening: "this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal." Indeed.